This weekend, I was looking for a certain type of image to use for the header on the new blog that Tom is going to make for me. So I decided to Google Vintage Ads and look through the images. I found some hilarious ads. I don’t consider myself a feminist in the way that most people think of them nowadays. But I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows at these advertisements. I mean, ads that had babies promoting smoking, ads that were creepy, ads that were chauvinistic. I found them. And I saved a few of them to share with you:
Let’s start with the beer. This is actually supposed to be a nice hubby. He’s letting his wife know she’s not a total failure because she didn’t burn the one thing that didn’t go on the stove. She’s completely distraught because her hard work is ruined, and the 50’s housewife was supposed to have dinner ready on time, dang it, woman! But never mind that.
The beer’s ok.
Speaking of the importance of beer, how about this champ who saved the beer and left his gal in the water.
Let’s move on to a non-alcoholic drink. You’d think it would be safer. Nope. Looks like this guy needs a beer. And a woman who will “store test” his coffee.
What that guy didn’t know is that his wife did not forget to store-test the coffee. It’s just her passive aggressive way of getting back at him for not getting her every woman’s dream gift that Christmas.
She really wanted it because working hard (read:cleaning) makes us wives much more attractive.
It’s especially important because they were all about having high self-esteem and a positive self-image back then.
See what I mean?
And it’s important to get into shape again after having babies. If not, an otherwise even-tempered wife and mother might get cranky. She’ll need to find a way to calm down while taking care of the new baby. Something healthy.
If lighting up doesn’t help, she might need something more serious. I mean, we don’t want those women to be “scrappy,” now, do we?
Because, as we know, even a pregnant wife won’t be worth keeping around if she’s sick and can’t make her man a hearty meal.
And it’s of utmost importance that those meals be new and exciting, every day! (My favorite line is, “most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man’s boredom at meals?”)
If her cooking is boring, that’s just gosh darn awful. But what’s unforgivable is a wife who doesn’t use the right douche. She should know better. And if she doesn’t, men, leave her right away.
Don’t let those vows or those tears hold you down. But if you’ve made the mistake of blowing in her face, you might find she follows you when you leave.
But if you are a very merciful, forgiving man and take her back, make sure she knows her place. On the floor with the shoes. Naked.
Of course all of these ads were so long ago. Thank goodness, in recent years, we’ve seen women move up a few notches. I mean, by the 80’s, even Grandma was showing off her sexy, feminine strength. And it didn’t stop there. Even six-year-olds should be in lingerie ads. And their seventeen-year-old moms. Wonderful.
Doesn’t it make you glad to see how far we’ve come?