Benefit of the Doubt

One thing Tom used to say to me all the time was to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he said something that could (in my mind) only be taken badly, I would get upset. And he would tell me he didn’t mean it that way but in some other way, and he would be irritated that I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt.

I waited until he went to bed to pound this out for tomorrow instead of what I was going to post. Because he doesn’t know he’s the feature. This happened tonight:

Scene: I had had a pretty rough day and was kind of dead by the time I got home. Then I perked up a bit as I made dinner. I made homemade Tomato Basil Soup (one of his faves) and grilled cheese (we both love it, and no, we aren’t 5). I had just handed him his, and were about to sit down to eat.

I smile at him.

Tom: I’m glad to see you in a better mood.

I sit down and say nothing.

Tom: I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…you know what I meant, right?

Me: You meant, “I’m glad you seem to feel better now.”

Tom: Yeah!

Me: See, I didn’t take it the wrong way. I just gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Tom: Cool. (looks down at his soup) This looks…interesting. (looks at my face) CRAP.

Me: Careful there. I only have so much benefit of the doubt to hand out per day.

Tom: I just meant it looks thicker than usual.

Me: It is.

The end.

Wasn’t that a thrilling tale? A true story from our dinner time to your computer screen. Don’t worry, it all ended in laughter. Poor Tom. I stick my foot in my mouth enough to know sometimes you just need a little more grace given to you.

Because he’s my husband, because I love him, because he’s good with kids and helped me watch four of them on Monday, because he’s so cute with our baby niece…I had to laugh it off. Okay, that last one had nothing to do with it. I just wanted an excuse to share this picture of Tom and Ella at the beach house.

Ever stuck your foot in your mouth? I’d love to hear about.


4 thoughts on “Benefit of the Doubt”

  1. I used to be able to bite my own toes, back when I was flexible.

    And yes, I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth, but I’m not going to tell about it! Ha, ha!

    Cute picture – can you send it to me when you send me the other ones?

  2. I have had many of those dinner time moments in 23 years of marriage. Some – maybe even many – did not end in laughter. But we don’t go to bed mad and almost everything is funnier the next day. Hal’s favorite thing to tell me when my day is going bad is, “Remember who you’re married to!” And that usually reminds me of how good I’ve got it. No matter what they mean to say and how bad they butcher it — they love us more than anything! Isn’t that great?

    1. It really is. I’m trying to learn to always jump to the best conclusion for what he meant, but I also tell him he has to think about what he says before he says it. I can’t always be the one doing all the work with that! haha =) We are really blessed though. Great husbands!

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