Pillow Talk #759334: Maniacal Laughter

If you ever read anything I posted on More Than Useless back when it was more than a defunct website, then you’re all too familiar with the midnight adventures that occur in our house.

The rest of you may be in for it.


So there I was, Saturday night, asleep. Full on REM sleep. Out of nowhere, I’m shaken awake – Meghan, with a firm grip on my right shoulder, has rolled over and thrown her other arm across my chest to grab my left shoulder and is violently shaking me.

Meghan: [near shouting] Come on – let’s go..!
Tom: [wide awake, irritated, prepared to punch] What?! Meghan [shakes loose] what are you talking about!?
Meghan: [releases death grip, sighs] Man – you are heavy!
Tom: [rolls over]
Meghan: [maniacal laughter ]

…then there was silence. Utter silence.

Laying on my side, heart racing, and totally irritated, Meghan has dropped completely back into whatever dream she was having and I’m left wide awake against my will.

Two years ago, I would’ve attempted to decipher what she was dreaming about or what prompted such a ridiculous outburst. But we’ve been married long enough and I’ve experienced more torture in the middle of the night than any spouse should ever have to endure to know better than to bother.

This isn’t the last time I’m gonna have something to share about this.

Trust me,
Tom

19 thoughts on “Pillow Talk #759334: Maniacal Laughter”

  1. That is awesome. I believe it goes away. I did this for the first few years of our marriage. Well… the talking in the sleep. Not violent outbursts.

    Don’t do it much anymore. Only when I’m really stressed do I talk in my sleep.

    1. I’ve been doing this since I was in high school. I’m hoping it will go away though. I’m thinking of doing a sleep study to see if I have sleep apnea. I wake up about 14 times a night on average, according to my fitbit, and I’m always tired. Even when I took a sleeping pill and slept for about 11 hours, I woke up 10 times. It’s crazy. Makes me wonder if I slept better if I would get a deeper sleep and be less “active” in my sleep. haha

    2. If it goes away, it’s not happening soon enough. Two nights ago, she was talking to the dogs in her sleep.

      Meghan: “No, no. Uh-uh. [clicking noises with her mouth]”

      Exception she wasn’t doing this at the dogs. She was in my face.

  2. Hilarious! I woke up in the middle of the night last night with my shirt on half-backwards and only one arm through an armhole… Leonardo must have put a weird idea in my head while I was asleep…

  3. Same situation in our house. I’ve lost count how many times it has happened…
    Most recently:
    Wife: “We need to get them out!! THE BUGS! GET THE BUGS OUT OF THE BED!!”
    Me: *shakes wife furiously* “Umm, hi. There are no bugs. In the bed.” “Can I start the process of resuming sleep now?”

    1. Haha your poor wife! I’d freak out if I dreamed bugs were in bed with me too! Of course, I don’t usually remember these episodes the next morning….

  4. As the only other person who has had to sleep in the same bed with Meghan every night for years, Tom, I feel your pain. She did it to me, too, but it’s definitely gotten worse. I also used to be a VERY active sleeper, but I eventually got over it. (I think.) I’ve definitely gotten out of bed, walked around the house, talked to people, and then gone back to bed while completely asleep the entire time. I’ve also been known to sit up in bed, open my eyes, and speak in French to whoever happened to be in the room (or to the wall) all in my sleep.

    You can’t make this stuff up.

    Meghan really should do a sleep study. The one that James did that discovered his sleep apnea literally changed his life. As you guys saw at the beach in May, he’s actually awake for the first time in years, and he feels good!!

    1. I feel like I’m still pretty interactive during the day, so I’m curious to see what I’d be like if I was getting a full night’s sleep. I definitely want to get the sleep apnea test.

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