Cheese Fries and Crocodiles

The other night, my husband insisted on leaving the TV on a show about great white sharks and other scary killers before bed, because, apparently, it’s really fun to see how high pitched my terror-ridden squeals can get before I revert back to begging him to change the channel.

And watching that show, I informed Tom, as I have many times before, that I NEVER want to go to Australia.

“They have all the worst stuff in the world there. TONS of deadly spiders, snakes, Salt-water crocs, and great white sharks,” I informed him. “That place is the stuff of nightmares.”


“I’ll change the channel in a second,” he replied.

Too late. Damage done. We were already hearing about the salt-water crocodile. Apparently it can get up to 23 feet long and weigh as much as 2 tons, which is just under half what an adult elephant weighs.

And that’s not all. They also like to watch their prey for weeks to establish their routine and be sure they strike at the right time.


“Pre-meditated murder,” I gasp. “Great. Wonderful. The biggest, scariest crocodile in the world, that you aren’t even safe from at the beach, just also happens to be smart enough to PLAN your death! UUUH! I am NEVER going to Australia.”

To which Tom only said, with no small amount of awe in his voice, mind you, “Dinosaur….”

At this point I was staring at Tom. “Something is wrong with you,” I thought.

I always knew he liked dinosaurs and thinks it’s cool that crocs, gators, and komodo dragons are pretty much dinosaurs still roaming the earth, but I mean, we were talking about a crocodile- a giant crocodile- that plans your death for weeks. NOT cool.

Just to be clear, the closest I’m getting to the “land down under” is cheese fries and steak (all with ranch dip/dressing) at Outback Steakhouse. I have no idea if that’s very Australian or not, but I do know I don’t care.


It’s delicious. And it won’t bite me.


13 thoughts on “Cheese Fries and Crocodiles”

    1. I just saw the title of that video and closed the window. I’m scared enough without adding that to my catalog of shark knowledge/fears. lol

  1. Just so that you know, last year’s Hilton Head shark sightings have soured James on getting back into the ocean, too. (I decided not to mess with it years ago…with you…)

    1. Yeah, after all those years of staying out of the ocean, I get in last year only to have a shark reeled in right beside me. That did it. I’m not going into the water unless I can see what’s in there with me (and it better be nothing).

  2. If I’m headed that direction, it will be New Zealand — prettier than Australia and none of the critters/monsters! I have a colleague there, so there is a good chance for a “research agenda” there 🙂

    1. I’m with you on that! I would love to go to New Zealand! Tom and I are such nerds. We want to do a LOTR Tour. hahaha They went to such pretty locations!

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